How Toone is navigating grief through football

There will be an empty chair at Ella Toone's wedding this summer.

The England and Manchester United midfielder is preparing to walk down the aisle without her dad Nick - the man she dedicates every goal to and credits as the "main reason" where she is in her career.

In a new BBC documentary, 24 Hours with Ella Toone, she opens up on grief and navigating that as a professional athlete, while also ensuring her father's legacy and being a "pioneer for women's football" is now helping the next generation.

Toone knew that hours after every match, she would always get a phone call from Nick.

He and her mum, Karen, would always come to watch Toone's matches, but Nick also recorded them on TV so he could have another look when he got home before calling his daughter for a "debrief on the whole game".

"He was just obsessed," says the 26-year-old. "He loved women's football more than he loved watching the men's game. He knew all the players, he was passionate about where I was in my career, the team that I had, the way we were playing.

"He would go into any pub and talk about women's football and talk about me."

Toone adds her dad was "the driving force" behind her football, taking her up and down the country for club matches and travelling abroad for England games.

"Me and dad were all about football, that was our thing that we had together," she reveals. "He was probably one of the first people that really saw potential in me."

The day after Toone scored in England's 2-1 win over Germany in the 2022 European Championship final, she had no idea her dad had just been diagnosed with prostate cancer as he had only told his wife and brother.

"He didn't want anyone worrying about him," she explains. "He wasn't well throughout the tournament. I'm finding out more and more about it now that he's not here."

It was not until the day after her Manchester United team won the FA Cup final at Wembley in May 2024 that she learned he was ill.

"I feel like every time I won something, something bad came after," she says.

Nick died three days before his 60th birthday - five after Toone turned 25 - in September 2024. The following day she was back in training.

"I went straight back into football because I knew that's what he would have wanted," she says.

"I started the first game at Old Trafford, it was really difficult, but I felt like that's what I needed to do in that moment. I needed to play, I couldn't just be sat around moping about, thinking about it all the time. I knew he would have been there and been watching."

Toone says she and her late dad Nick - whom she describes as 'the most competitive person ever" - bonded over football

But Toone admits she was not really processing her grief at that point and was only able to do so when a calf injury in November forced her to take time off.

"I think it was my body telling me to stop before I would have had a mental breakdown," she recalls.

After two months away from the game, during which Toone saw a counsellor and took a holiday in Dubai, she returned for Manchester United's 7-0 FA Cup win over West Brom in January.

She scored with a stunning long-range strike - which she describes as "decent" but later voted her team's goal of the season - and pointed to the sky in tribute to mark her first goal since Nick's death.

"Obviously every goal I score now, I dedicate to dad but that just felt like a relief," says Toone.

"The first few months of playing, I was putting on so much pressure on myself. I wanted to score for him. I wasn't letting myself relax and enjoy the game, I was trying to be the person that my family could rely on, on the pitch."

She says the enforced time off the pitch had also been good for her wider family and friends. They found it difficult watching her because matchdays had always been "their time with dad".

Toone dedicates all her goals to her dad

Toone says she would not have got through the past couple of years without her fiance Joe Bunney, who was a "rock" to her family while also dealing with his own grief for a man Toone describes as his "bestie".

The pair were so close that Bunney took on Nick's dream of creating a girls' football academy when the former Rochdale player's own career came to an end in 2025.

Bunney, who played at various lower league clubs after his career at Bolton Wanderers was derailed in 2019 when he suffered injuries in a car crash just a week after signing for them, says: "Ella and her dad said, 'let's do an academy'.

"I was coming towards the end of my career, I had a little bit more time so I said, 'I'll put all my eggs in this basket and try and build something'."

They set up the ET7 Academy, where he says "standards tend to go through the roof" when Toone comes to watch.

"Nick absolutely loved it, seeing these young girls come through and playing football. It was almost like he was reliving Ella's life again," adds Bunney. "That's where my passion came from."

Toone is "really proud" of her fiance and says he "sacrifices a lot".

"The academy bought us together even though it is very stressful," she adds. "I think his hard work goes unnoticed but definitely not by me.

"Setting up the academy is part of dad's legacy. He loved being part of something that he knew would help young girls have opportunities."

Alessia Russo (right) will be Toone's maid of honour - a year after they won a second European Championship together

Toone told Bunney she was never getting married, nor having children, when her dad passed away.

"I look back and I think, 'why would I not do that?'. He (dad) would love me to do those things," she says.

And so Toone finds herself in full swing for her July wedding, where there will be "a lot of mixed emotions".

She has asked her uncle Dan to walk her down the aisle and will put a cap on what would be her dad's chair at the wedding.

And despite the tables of footballers, and her England team-mate Alessia Russo as maid of honour, Toone is "trying to keep the day away from football".

"Anything related to football songs is banned," explains Bunney, 32. "All her family singing United songs and my mates singing [Manchester] City songs, it's not happening."

Depending on where Thomas Tuchel's England team finish in the group stages of the men's World Cup, they may potentially be playing on the day of the wedding.

"Hopefully that doesn't take away from the day," adds Toone.

"I am obsessed with football but I don't think I'll be watching it on my wedding day."

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this story you can visit BBC Action Line.

24 Hours with Ella Toone is released on Friday, 29 May on BBC Sport's YouTube channel from 18:00 BST and on BBC Three at 19:00 BST and on BBC iPlayer from 19:00 BST.

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Source: https://www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/c3e2dg875x7o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss